It Wasn't MY Suggestion

Our younger daughter is having a birthday. The cat helped wrap her presents.

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Hubs: I was going to make Mexican food... but then I didn't.

Me: That sounds like a story I'd tell. I think you plagiarized that from me. 

Him: I was also going to take out the trash but I didn't. 

Me: Another one of my greatest works. 

Nacho Servant

Hubs has been awake for a few hours when I finally come downstairs.

Him: Have you ordered me nachos yet?

Me: No. 

Him: Why are you even down here? 

Don Draper

Hubs just finished a project for work and submitted his section for review, along with his two junior coworkers. He's really good at what he does.

Not Exactly a Surprise

We're watching a TV show where a middle-aged family man is finally coming out of the closet.

Hubs: You should be preparing yourself for that possibility. I might decide I'm gay someday.
Me: It's not like it would be a shock.

Shak-quester

Shakira is performing and I am going to sequester myself to watch her. 

Me: So... Just get whatever you need from our bedroom and stay out for a while. I'll be in there with the door locked. 

Hubs: I won't see you that evening? 

Me: No. I'm not coming out. I'll make sure I have water. Maybe some crackers. 

 

She's still a goddess. For more Shakira, click here or here or here or here or here or here.   

Yo Mama Has a Glass Eye with a Fish in It

My daughters are fond of the "yo mama" retort and all its iterations. 

Hubs: What do y'all want to watch? 

15yo: Let's watch Blade. 

12yo: No, I want to watch more of a horror movie. 

15yo: Your mother is a horror movie. 

12yo: Mom, are you a horror movie? 

Me: I'm a shit show. Does that count?