It Takes Two

Hubs: Why are you always so mean and hateful to me?

Me: Why do you continue to take it like a giant loser? 

Hubs: Valid question. 

Take a Number

Touché, Sir

While waiting for me to shower, Hubs is playing a video game wherein he is a female character. When I arrive downstairs I immediately accost him. 

Me: Pay attention to me. I have boobs.

Hubs: So does she. 

Mother of the Year

My 12yo attempts a task and can't do it.

Her: Ugh! You do it. I'm too stupid. 

Me: You are NOT stupid, sweetheart. You're just a loser.

What Just Happened?

I took three middle school girls to a pop concert at a 10,000 person venue. I forgot my earplugs. I entertained myself by bothering Hubs. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's Not What It Looks Like

I'm clumsy and recently gave myself a small shiner instead of the usual knee and arm bruises. I don't wear makeup but desperately needed to cover up the bruise so Hubs and I made a trip to CVS.

Me: Oh my god. This song. 

Hubs: What about it? 

Me: I haven't heard it in years. It's on the playlist I made for 14yo when I was pregnant. 

Hubs: Aww. 

Me: Oh no. I'm going to cry. Oh shit. Should I go outside? 

Hubs: Why?

Me: Because I'm standing here with a man looming over me, holding concealer in my hand, crying, with a black eye.

Hubs: Riiiiiight. 

Hangry, Hangry Hubbo

We're at a restaurant. Hubs has been trying to lose weight and has eaten exactly half of his meal.

Hubs: I guess I should stop here.

Me: It's the perfect spot. I support this decision.

Hubs: Why don't you MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS?!