Balls

Illicit Activities

Let the Spirit Move You

I'm pretty sure we've already established that I'm a horrible person. So come be a part of my world.

 

Parents of the Year

Our kindergartener has mellowed out in the past year or so and thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster because she was an intense little kid. In pre-K her teacher asked parents to write a short note about why our kid was special.

Hubs: Hmm.
Me: Yeah.
Hubs: Well...
Me: I mean...
Hubs: Umm...
Me: Can we just say, "She's not as much of an asshole as she used to be"?

Ask Dick Clark

Some recent events forced me to have the puberty talk with our seven-year-old daughter a bit sooner than anticipated. Hubs and I are later discussing it.

Me: The window starts at about nine years. Nine to thirteen.

Hubs: I don't want to think about that.

Me: I had to start shaving my pits when I was nine. 

Hubs: [frowning] When did my balls drop? 

Me: Have they yet? 

Hubs: I check them every day! 

Feliz Cumpleaños

It was recently my birthday, so I begged some babysitting from my parents. This was the response from my dad.

And this happened at my celebration dinner.

Quiverfull, Part Tres and Counting

Hubs comes to me, his phone pressed against his chest to conceal the image.

Hubs: Okay, so it's expensive but...
Me: But what?
Hubs: It's expensive but it's for Christmas.
Me: Ohmigod. Is it a sister wife?
Hubs: You got me.
Me: I'm so excited!
Hubs: It's a three pack!


For more Quiverfull madness, click here or here.