I Know Where You Sleep

Like a Fine Wine, Part Deux

I'm buying beer at a gas station and the attendant asks for my birthdate.

Me: This is the point where you're supposed to tell me how good I look for my age.
Him: ...
Me: ...
Him: Um... I never would've guessed!
Me: Atta boy.


For my parents' experiences in aging, click here.

Fertile Myrtle and Her Crazy Cousins

Sometimes patients write the best things on their paperwork.

Just Stick with Richard

It seems awkward is my default.

Hostess with the Mostest

Safety First

One of my favorite (and most fashionable) girls.

I'm glad she's finally considering some safety gear because she's made some questionable decisions in the past... 

I'll Be There for You

Me: Remember on Friends when Joey said the best way to look thoughtful was to act like you were smelling a fart and trying to figure out who did it?
Hubs: I didn't really watch that show, but I do remember that.
Me: It's when he was on that soap opera and was Doctor Drake. . . Romano? No -- Romero.

[another conversation ensues]

Hubs: Who farted? It's like Dr. Drake Ramoray again.
Me: Wait. Did you say Ramoray?
Hubs: Yes..?
Me: I said Romano. And then Romero. But you were right. It's Ramoray. How did you know that?
Hubs: I... I... I have no words. I'm so ashamed.


In case you missed it:
Smell the Fart Acting

When You're Here, You're Family

Hubs: Look at this idiot.
Me: How do you eat pasta belli -- oh... yeah, I could do that.
Hubs: I'm aware.