Exchanges With The Hubs (And Others)

Me:  The new Indiana Jones is coming on next. You don't want to watch that, do you? Hubs:  It has that Shabonga Shebangabang kid in it....

Me:  I just saw a logo for some new city campaign.  It's the outline of a guy on a scooter and it says, "Scoot Around Lexington....

Hubs, watching me put Vaseline on my face:  How long have you had that stuff?  Isn't it expired? Me:  It's ass fat from a Tyrannosa...

Me:  Everything's better with butter. Cousin:  And then you die.

We saw a commercial for Touch of Gray men's hair color. Hubs, who's bald:  I want to try Touch of Hair.

Me:  Can you watch the baby for a minute? Hubs:  Sure.  [pours a glass of bourbon] Me:  Um. . .

Me:  Kroger gave us a coupon for Haagen-Dazs. Hubs:  That's disgusting. They don't sell Haagen-Dazs at Kroger. Me:  What are you ...