Exchanges With The Hubs (And Others)

Weathercaster:  There's a front coming through that will produce dry lightning.  This means lightning and thunder with no rain. Hubs:  ...

I have a head cold. Hubs:  What did you just snort? Me:  Cocaine. Hubs:  Is there a crushed up pill in there? Me:  What? Hubs:  What d...

Texting with my mom, who was complaining about the mosquitoes at the campground. Mom:  We can't even sit out up here. Me:  Good lord. ...

Me:  I'm too tired to wash my face. Hubs:  I'm too tired to look at it.

Me:  The new Indiana Jones is coming on next. You don't want to watch that, do you? Hubs:  It has that Shabonga Shebangabang kid in it....

Me:  I just saw a logo for some new city campaign.  It's the outline of a guy on a scooter and it says, "Scoot Around Lexington....

Hubs, watching me put Vaseline on my face:  How long have you had that stuff?  Isn't it expired? Me:  It's ass fat from a Tyrannosa...