High Fashion

Beating Them Back with a Stick

Me: I need to clean my ring. It's disgusting.
Hubs: Yeah, I need you to clean mine too. I need it to be sparkling so it catches the eye and keeps all the ladies away.
Me: Yeah. I'll get right on that.

Lord of the Clicker

On Amazon's totally incredible smash-hit Prime Day we scored a Blu Ray player for $10. Hubs has just discovered that it's compatible with our current remote control.

Hubs: One remote to rule them all.
Me: I just lost my boner.
Hubs: I'm just glad you had a boner.

Junior Mints

Our younger daughter has finally reached an age where we can safely take her to a real live theater to see a real live movie. Hubs and I are very excited.

Hubs: I can't wait to start a movie tradition with the girls. Going to an actual theater, getting a giant popcorn, and they can pick out their drinks. . . But not candy. It's too expensive. We'll teach them that you always stop at the gas station around the corner first and get your movie candy there.
Me: So, they should wear something with pockets.
Hubs: BIG pockets.
Me: Friday night will come around and I'll yell, "Girls, put on your movie pants!"

People of Walmart

Wisdom Teeth Don't Make You Smart

Hubs has been told that he has to have his wisdom teeth taken out.

Me: I can't wait to see what you're like coming out of anesthesia. We might have a viral video on our hands.
Hubs: I've never hit a woman, but that could do it.

Philly Illy

It's my first time setting foot in a little cheesesteak dive where Hubs always gets us takeout.