Keen on Keeneland

Horse racing is more than a tradition in Kentucky; it's a religion. It's also very popular among college kids, who seem to be able to ruin anything. My friend Sam had a lot of complaints about her recent visit to the track.

Two Snaps Up

Hubs and I are watching one of those stupid monster-hunting shows. There are people claiming that they encountered a creature like Big Foot but with wings. 

Hubs: I'm willing to believe that there could be some type of Big Foot something living in the woods, but not one with wings. I mean, they're saying it's a sasquatch and a dragon? Seriously? Someone would've seen that before.

Me: Agreed. No way.

Hubs: What would you even call that?

Me: Dragonsquatch.

Hubs: That makes sense.

Me: Yeah, but one day you'd encounter one and of course it would be, like, the drag queen version and you'd say, "Hey, are you a dragonsquatch?" and she'd say, "No, bitch. I'm a sassdragon."

Stupid is as Stupid Does, Part Tres

Me: It's just stupid.
6yo: Mommy. You just said a word we're not allowed to say.
Me: What, stupid?
6yo: Yes.
Me: Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid.
6yo [stunned]: She said it again.
Hubs: That's because Mommy's stupid.

We All Float Down Here

Hubs recently went out of town, but we're able to monitor our security system from anywhere.

There's No Escaping

Hubs hates traveling. I'm starting to think it might have something to do with me.

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Ooh, That Smell (Part Seven)

Who doesn't love a good-smelling man?

For more smells, click: part six, part five, part four, part tres, part deux, part one

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Boss: Want a free TV?
Me: Are you serious? I can't tell what face you're making because I took my glasses off. Are you smiling?
Boss: Of course I'm smiling. I always smile at you. It's like looking at a monkey. Everyone smiles when they see a monkey.