Not His Place

Hubs and I are on a road trip and stop at a travel center. I didn't realize it was arranged in a circle and didn't pay attention to where we were wandering and was confused when the exit wasn't where I thought it should be. That's where Hubs comes in handy.

Me: I would've walked around that loop for an hour.
Hubs: Wow. You have amazing book smarts.
Me: If by "book smarts" you mean "ass"...
Hubs: Who am I to argue?
_______________________________

We get back in the car and I spot a bag of McDonald's trash in my floorboard.

Me: Dammit! Why didn't I throw that away just now? Dumbass.
Hubs: Who am I to argue?

Leaves of Three, Leave Them Be

Some days I'm really glad I don't have sons.

Anti-Anti-Vaxx

There were vaccines going around our chat group recently.

Basic Bitch

I'm glad we were all on the same page here.

Time Flies When You're... Nevermind

My best friend recently reevaluated her life, quit her god-awful job, and is starting her own business. We were discussing her path.

Jen: So I'm still at work, writing this report, and it's Friday night and I'm pissed at being there -- well, I guess it was actually Friday evening, not Friday night-- and I'm sitting there hating my job -- okay, so it may have been, like, 5:02 -- but still...

Full Mental Jacket

Hubs: I reserve the right to bitch.
Me: I reserve the right to tell you to SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Hubs: Well then, it's WAR NOW.

Burnin' Burnin' Love

I've just said something atrocious about our daughter.

Hubs: You're going to hell. But at least I know we'll be together for eternity. Wait... maybe that is our hell.