Sofa Spawn

I shared the above exchange with a friend and discovered that I'm not the only person whose conception somehow involved a couch.

Gobble Gobble

Die Harder

A couple years ago I finally gave in and conceded that Die Hard can be considered a Christmas movie, so now it's in our annual rotation. On Black Friday we're decorating the house and have this conversation.

Hubs: Let's get this done so we can relax later.
Me: And watch a movie.
Hubs: We can finish The Shining.
Me: I was actually going to suggest Die Hard.
Hubs: You want to have sex, don't you?

GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! (Best Friend)

Hubs and I are watching a Planet Earth special and the narrator is explaining the meteorological phenomenon of diamond dust.

Me: I want some diamond dust.
Hubs: Go to the strip club.

Jesus Wept

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Children of the Corn

We're about to take my daughters and my niece through a corn maze.

My dad: What happens if we lose one of them?
Me: We pay less for dinner.