Man of the House

Hubs and I are bickering when I give up and walk away.

Hubs: Will you please come back here and let me put you in your place? 

Oinking Oenophile

We've recently moved to a state where it's legal to sell wine at gas stations and grocery stores, which is new for us. I crack open a bottle. 

Me: This wine is terrible. I mean, absolutely horrid. 

Hubs: Did you get it at the One Stop?

Me: No! At the PIGGLY WIGGLY. I expected MORE. 

Hindsight

Hubs: That was the first question you asked me. "What's your salary?" 

Me: It was not. 

Also me: Shoulda been. 

Taking Direction

 Hubs got a new car.

Hubs: I was messing around with the car settings and settled on the Australian lady voice for all the navigation. I tried the British woman but she sounded stupid. Obviously I wasn't going to use a man.

Me: You just don't want another man telling you what to do.

Hubs: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DON'T. 

SPAM

Hubs and I are geographically separated for a minute while buying and selling houses nearly 600 miles apart. We still share a DoorDash account. 

Bounce a Coin off Your Witcher

 We're about to rewatch The Witcher on Netflix. Hubs has a thing for the main female character and I'd kill to get my hands on the Witcher himself.

Hubs: "I'm ready to see Yennefer again."

Me: "I'm ready to see what's-his-name."

Hubs: "What's-his-name?"

Me: "Does he have a name?"

Hubs: "It's Geralt."

Me: "I don't need to know his name. I'm just going to be screaming Daddy! anyway. 

Blind Leading the Blind

Hubs: Why do blind people need audiobooks? They have Braille.

Me: They can't LISTEN to Braille while they're DRIVING.