Here Comes the Boom

We just found out our favorite pizza place is opening a new location next to our favorite ice cream place.

Spanglish

Our daughters are very fond of pretending to be restaurateurs and forcing Hubs and me to order countless dishes.

Hubs: What kind of restaurant is this?
5yo: It's Mexican, Daddy! Your favorite!
Hubs: Great! I'll take eighty seven tacos.
5yo: Here you go! Eighty seven tacos.
3yo: I have cacos, too. Here you go.
Me: She said cacos.
Hubs: Cock-o's?
Me: Yes. Wait. Is that how you say cock in Spanish? Don't you just put an O at the end of everything? Like, "she gave-o you-o a cock-o."
Hubs: That's how I got through high school Spanish.

[Note: the inappropriate part of this conversation was whispered so as to protect innocent ears. We may be terrible people, but we're not monsters.]

Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen

Hubs and I are competing for space in the kitchen.

Hubs: I can't rinse this off with your giant man hands in the way.
Me: Want me to crack open a lobster for you?
Hubs: And I can't get in this cabinet with your giant man legs in the way.
Me: Are you sure you want to talk about how big my thighs are?
Hubs: Yeah... I regretted it the second it was out of my mouth.
Me: Are you wondering how much blood you have to shed to atone for that one?
Hubs: Yup.

Dormouse

Texts with my mom are the best.

Marty McFly

My dad: Man, I wish I could go back in time to before we had kids so I could avoid making that mistake again. 
Me: You and me both.

Teaching Me a Lesson

Hubs finally incorporated voice activation into our home alarm system, and has just used it to arm the house.

Hubs: Man, that was so much easier. I used to have to get out my phone and start the app and then find the right page...
Me: [rolling my eyes] Oh my god, I know. It was sooo difficult before.
Hubs: Don't ruin my day by making me smack you.

Hopelessly Obsessed

Our daughters are obsessed with Shakira's new song "Try Everything" from the movie Zootopia. We've just listened to it five times on repeat in the car. 

Hubs: Well, I guess I'm going to be dreaming about Shakira tonight.
Me: Hey, as long as I'm the third, that's okay.
Hubs: Score! That's happening!


For more Shakira, click here or here or here