Captain Underpants

Me: I've noticed that more often than not, the garage door is unlocked when I get home.
Hubs: That's because I leave it unlocked.
Me: What? Since when?
Hubs: Since always.
Me: We've lived here a year and a half. How have I never noticed this?
Hubs: You also don't notice that I wear your underwear.
Me: You what?
Hubs: Huh? I didn't say anything.
[I start walking away.]
Hubs: [whispering] . . . on my head.