UK Boots

Watching TV with my dad

Me:  Oh my god.  They make cowboy boots with the Kentucky logo.
Dad:  We'll buy some for the baby.
Me:  Those are hideous.
Dad:  Oh, come on. Where's your school spirit?
Me:  On my sweatshirts.

Tipoff

As we're getting back in the car after a quick grocery run, pre-SEC championship game

Hubs:  Dammit, we're going to miss the tipoff.
Me:  That's okay.  It's just the tip.

Missing Beer

Hubs [wandering around the house]: Where's my beer?
Me: I don't know.
Hubs: Oh, wait.  I drank it.
Me: Have another!

Viagra

While watching a Viagra commercial:

Me:  It used to be that we would watch tampon commercials and joke about how great it would be to have your period because then you could go swimming and play tennis and ride a horse.  Now I think you need to get ED because then you could fix your car, fix your sail boat, and sit in a bath tub wherever you damn well please.

Africa

Mom holds up a refrigerator magnet: This magnet is shaped like a country.  Which country is it?
Hubs:  Florida.
Mom:  Florida is a *state*, not a country.  It looks like Africa.
Me:  Africa is a continent, Mom.

Fast Food

Hubs:  We need to compile a list of all the restaurants where kids eat free and just make the rounds every week. We'd save so much money.
Me:  And we could put all that saved money in an account to pay for fat camp and lipitor.