Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to

Birthday greetings for a friend

Just a Jiggalo

It's Hubs's responsibility to take out the trash every week.

Hubs: I gotta hurry and get all this on the street before it rains.
Me: Are you talking about the trash or [gesturing to his body] all of thissss?
Hubs: Joke if you will, but I'm worth a pretty penny.
Me: Exactly. A penny.
Hubs: Hey, if it's money it's worth it. I'll just have to sit on a pillow for a while tomorrow.

Kentucky Jelly

The toddler is peeling used stickers off of a craft project and trying to re-adhere them to my arm but they keep falling off.

Hubs: Looks like your skin is dry and uninviting.
Me: Keep it up and you'll find something else to be dry and uninviting.

Ooh, That Smell (Part Six)

I just bought a new ergonomic pillow and I'm absolutely in love with it.

Me: It's like having your head cradled in the hands of an angel.
Hubs: I thought that's how you described my lap.
Me: I don't think angels smell like that.

Day Drinking

I've taunted Hubs with a description of my upcoming free lunch.

Biting Heads off Chickens

My Facebook status just before Easter

Is Pluto a Planet?