We were talking to friends about their fertility woes and the awkwardness of the husband giving a "sample" at the doctor's office.
Friend J: So, I have to ask. Are you allowed to use lube or anything?
Husband: Nope. Nothing. Not even water.
Friend J: What about spit?
Wife: No. Saliva kills sperm.
Me: Ohhh... So that's why you don't get pregnant from blow jobs!
Me: Does someone always die on this show? Like, every episode?
Hubs: Well, the name of the show is "Fatal Attractions," so...
Me: I figured out the name of that show with the crazy guy with the curly hair. It's "Workaholics."
Hubs: I was close.
Me: You said "Shenanigans."
Hubs: I knew it was a long name.
My mom and I always end up talking about inappropriate or disgusting things when we get together, which The Hubs is still adjusting to. Tonight it was nuts and nursing home residents.
Hubs: We can't get through a night without a conversation like this. What are you talking about over there? I heard "nuts" and something about old people?
Me: Demented people peeing in electrical outlets.
The hubs put up our new outdoor oil lamps, filled them, and put the wicks in.
Hubs: How long do those wicks have to be in there before they'll light?
Me: I don't know. How long does it take you to ignite once you dip your wick?
Hubs: Hmm. Not very long.
