Friday, September 29, 2017

There's No Escaping

Hubs hates traveling. I'm starting to think it might have something to do with me.

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Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Monkey See, Monkey Do

Boss: Want a free TV?
Me: Are you serious? I can't tell what face you're making because I took my glasses off. Are you smiling?
Boss: Of course I'm smiling. I always smile at you. It's like looking at a monkey. Everyone smiles when they see a monkey.

Friday, September 22, 2017

An Ounce of Prevention

I recently had a doctor's appointment.

Me: They put me on cholesterol medication. I'm old and fat.
Hubs: Why do you do this to yourself?
Me: Do what?
Hubs: You go to the doctor and they tell you everything that's wrong with you. That's why I don't go.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Breaking the Internet

Hubs: Mark Zuckerberg has been gearing up for a presidential run.
Me: What? Nobody's going to elect the Facebook guy. [pause] Oh wait. Trump.
Hubs: He's opened the door for anybody to run. Kim Kardashian could be president at this point.
Me: I'd vote for her ass, I guess.
Hubs: That would be the vice president.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Friday, September 8, 2017

Three-For

Just a couple random messages from my girls.







This person shall remain nameless.




I wish I could say I was responsible for this comment.



Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Fair Market Value

My dad recently came over to install some new lighting in my kitchen.