He of Little Faith

Me:  I couldn't figure out what to get you for Father's Day.  I think you'll like your gift, but it's not anything spectacular.
Hubs:  I wasn't expecting it to be.
Me: Um. . . Thanks?

What Can Brown Do for You?

UPS drops something at our door.  Hubs comes in carrying a rather substantial box.

Hubs:  You have a package.
Me (being coy):  So do you.
Hubs:  Well, which one do you want?
Me:  Mine's bigger.

Positive Reinforcement

We're half-assedly trying to potty train EB.  She sat (fully clothed) on the potty tonight and said she pooped, so we gave her a sticker.

EB:  Daddy, you get a sticker too?
Hubs: No.  I don't get a sticker because I didn't poop on the potty.  I'll get one at nine a.m. tomorrow.

It's Fun to Stay at the...

My parents had EB for the day and took her to the Y.

My dad: After we swam, she watched the boys play basketball.
My mom: She liked watching the boys.
Hubs: I don't like this.
My dad: Playing with their balls.
Hubs: I really don't like this.

Size Matters

EB (our toddler) finds a crumb on her dinner plate and holds it up to me.

EB: See, Mommy?
Me: Oh, yes.  It's tiny.
EB: It's not tiny.
Hubs (looking at me): That sounds like a conversation we've had.

In Your Face

We're on our way to breakfast when we pass a restaurant that's basically a rip-off of Hooters.

Hubs: We could go to Show-Me's.
Me: I don't need a side of titties with my eggs.

Hopefully Not an Omen

We've finished up bath time and our toddler is running naked around Hubs's home office.

Hubs: And she found my wallet.  Great.
Me: Please, please, please let this be the only time in her life that she's naked while thumbing through a man's wallet.