Tuesday, February 20, 2018

By Order of the Peaky Blinders

I may have a thing for Tommy Shelby, the fictional 1920s Birmingham gangster from the show Peaky Blinders. Not the actor Cillian Murphy, mind you. Just the character. Like... yeah. It's bad. I only allow myself to watch the show when I'm on the treadmill because Tommy Shelby is basically my carrot on a string.

Me: I just burned five hundred calories. And watched another episode of Peaky Blinders.
Hubs: Wow. And then did you rub one out?
Me: I mean...
Hubs: Were you even on the treadmill?
Me: All I said was I burned five hundred calories.

Just a few pictures to illustrate my point...

Friday, February 16, 2018

Where the Sun Don't Shine

A friend of mine recently signed up for Match.com and it's surprising how much entertainment it's providing.

If you're not familiar with the television show The Girls Next Door, you need to be. 

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Evening Constitutional

Hubs and I have split up to put our daughters to bed. I get finished first and am hanging out downstairs when I hear Hubs emerge from the 7yo's room. . . and then silence. I wait twenty minutes before sending him a text.

I get no response and another twenty minutes passes before Hubs finally wanders downstairs, looking dazed.

Me: Did you get my texts?
Hubs: Yeah. . . Just now.
Me: What were you doing?
Hubs: I'm gonna be honest. I thought you were taking a shit and I fell asleep.

Friday, February 9, 2018

Let Freedom Ring

My younger child can spend up to half an hour on the toilet, singing and talking to herself. It's kind of her happy place.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Flex Your Pecs

Some of my friends go to yoga at 5:15 am. Some of my friends are crazy.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Copping a Feel

Any time Hubs walks past me (with no witnesses) he grabs my butt. So when we're home alone it's particularly bad.

Me: Seriously? Staaahp!
Hubs: You should be happy that I want to touch you.
Me: Should I?
Hubs: Yes! I could just not touch you at all.
Me: Could you? Could you please do that?