Me: Mommy does too, honey, but she married Daddy anyway.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Preface: There have been reports of a peeping Tom in our neighborhood.
I'm literally stepping into the shower when I remember there's something in the oven. I grab a robe before I go running downstairs.
Hubs: Meh. Just go naked. Throw the peeper a bone.
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
In college my roommate had a Vietnamese friend (nicknamed Bill) who was very obliging about our farcical racism.
Bill: When I was a kid, I used to eat crayons.
Roommate: What was your favorite color? Which one tasted best?
Bill: Um, I don't know. Fire engine red?
Roommate: Ah. Tasted like Dalmatians, huh?
Friday, May 9, 2014
Me: I don’t see what the problem is.
My dad (to me): You're not the one who's been suffering.
Me: Really? You think I haven't been suffering?
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014