Dad: She doesn't know where I keep the handgun.
Mom: No, I don't anymore. But I know where your nuts are.
Hubs is a rabid Kentucky basketball fan. Rabid. He and I have just finished a lengthy, rather emotional conversation when he holds up his phone and shows me the game score.
Hubs: I completely forgot there was even a game tonight. That's how invested I was in our conversation.
Me: Oh my god. Are you kidding me? I need to make a plaque or something. This day will go down in history.
Hubs: I know.
Me: This was better than renewing our vows. I mean, if I ever doubted how much you loved me, you just put all that to rest.
Hubs: I know. It won't happen again.
Our 5yo daughter has just started ballet and Hubs will have to take her to class by himself this week. We're arguing about how her hair will make its way into the requisite updo since I won't be here and he claims he's incapable.
Hubs: [under his breath] I wish I'd had boys. We could be playing sports.
Me: [kicking him] Well, I had nothing to do with that. You'll have to take it up with your nuts.
Hubs: [shakes his fists at his crotch] Football. FOOTBALL!
We get in the car to head to a basketball game.
Me: Do you have the tickets?
Hubs: To the gun show? [Flexes his biceps] You always have tickets to that.
Me: I know. I've been trying to sell them but no one will take me up on it.