Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Coke Habit

We're grocery shopping, and I've not been letting Hubs purchase soft drinks for a while now.

Hubs: Coooooke. . .
Me: There's a McDonald's next door. I will allow you to get one on the way home.
Hubs: Yes, but then I'll only have one tonight instead of being able to drink them all week.
Me: I know. That's the point.
Hubs: Do you want me to get fat and die early or not?

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Working on my Fit(Bit)ness

We've just returned from a harried weekend away.

Me: Where's my FitBit?
Hubs: I dunno.
Me: You found it yesterday and put it with your stuff.
Hubs: Yeah, but I haven't seen it since then. [Gets up and rummages through some stuff.] Oh. Here it is. I put it in the bag with the candy because I figured you'd find it there.

Friday, September 18, 2015

I'm Not Above It

I walk around the neighborhood with our girls in the morning, typically before I eat breakfast.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Hardly Healthy

We're at Long John Silver's and Hubs is scooping up forkfuls of the grease-soaked crispies from the bottom of the plate -- of which he'd ordered extra because he loves them.

Me: Please stop. I can hear your arteries hardening.
Hubs: That's not all that's getting hard.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Bragging Rights

My mom is recounting the time she was stung by a scorpion. Mind you, it was smaller than a honeybee and she was totally fine.

My mom: Well, I did get stung by a scorpion.
Me: Oh my god. That story again. It doesn't even count.
My mom: But I could've died.
My dad: Well at least you wouldn't still be bitching about it.