Thursday, July 31, 2014

Paging Dr. Guinnespee

I work with three surgeons.  One of them is an Iron Man triathlete who frequently qualifies for the national Iron Man competition.  He also runs marathons for shits and giggles.

I texted him this picture:

This is the exchange that followed:

Monday, July 28, 2014

My Husband is Totally Tubular

Hubs is a computer programmer and is obsessed with technology.

Hubs: I'm going to nerd out for a second. But just for a second. Then I'll go back to being cool.
Me: Um. . . Yeah. . .

Thursday, July 24, 2014

It's What's for Dinner

Hubs: What are you going to go get me for dinner?
Me [flipping him off]
Hubs: I've had that before. I want something different.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


Me: I've almost hit my ten thousand steps for the day. I'm going to get on the treadmill and finish this.
Hubs: Yeah, I'm under by about five hundred but I don't care.
Me: Seriously? But you're so close! Just get on the exercise bike. You can watch my ass while I'm on the treadmill.
Hubs: I don’t have to be on the bike to do that.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Ich Bin Ein Berliner

We're watching the World Cup final and Goetze has just scored the winning goal.

Me: Do you know how much ass he's going to get?
Hubs: All of it.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014


We're watching the World Cup final and Schweinsteiger has just been hit in the face and is bleeding.

Hubs: They have stuff they can spray on that to stop the bleeding immediately.
Me: They're German. They probably just pour beer on it.
Hubs: Their alcohol swab is soaked in beer.
Me: They used a pretzel to soak up the blood and then poured beer on it.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Record Breaker

Our preschooler says I'm four years old.

Hubs: Wow. If that were true, Daddy would be in jail.
Me: And Mommy would be in Guinness.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Shirt and Shoes (Should Be) Required

We're on the interstate behind an elderly man on a motorcycle.

Hubs: Is that dude shirtless?
Me: Yes. Unfortunately.
Hubs: I bet he has bug guts all over his nipples.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014


Hubs: Just so you know, I never buy anything unless it's on sale.
Me: I know.
Hubs: Camel camel camel.
Me: What?
Hubs: Camel camel camel. It's that site I told you about with all the deals.
Me: Ohhhh. . . Good. Because I was thinking my shorts weren't that tight.