Me: Geez, this red light is really long.
Hubs: The last one was long, too.
Me: Well, I didn't notice the last one because I was talking.
Hubs: You don't notice a lot of things when you're talking. How do you think we ended up with two kids?
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Hubs: Can I have one of those?
Me: I thought you didn't like this kind. They're green tea flavored.
Hubs: I don't know what they taste like.
Me: Well, they taste like green tea.
Hubs: Yeah, but what does that taste like?
Me: Like green tea. That you drink. Every day. Because you have a fridge full of it.
Hubs: Oh yeah. I like that stuff.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Hubs is playing World of Warcraft.
Me: So are you playing against other people?
Hubs: No. The game is designed so you can join up and play with other people, but I don't do that.
Me: Why not?
Hubs: Because I don't like people.
Me: So you're antisocial even in virtual social situations? Is there a name for that?
Hubs: Shut up!
Me: There should be a "Hang on, I have to piss" button.
Hubs: Or options. Pee is five minutes. Take a dump, fifteen minutes. Lunch, an hour. Road head...
Me: You don't pull over for road head. That's the point of road head.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Me: Because it's in the middle of the driveway blocking you in.
Me: Because I took the carseats out yesterday and they're in the garage; there wasn't room for me to pull in.
Hubs: Why didn't you put them back in last night?
Me: Because I got home at 1:30 in the morning.
Hubs: So? You could've done it.
Me: You realize your next question is going to be, "Why is my nose bleeding?" or maybe, "Why do my nuts hurt?"
Hubs: They're numb by now.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Me: I find it odd that McDonald's is apparently thriving in India.
Me: It's a company founded on beef.
Hubs: I'm sure they have a regional menu.
Me: It says here that there's a McAloo potato burger.
Hubs: They're all crazy, bathing in that river where they burn dead bodies.
Me: And bathe their animals.
Hubs: At one point, Indians were the only people in the world who were fatter than Americans.
Me: Weird. You'd think all the Ganges dysentery would keep them skinny.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
We have two daughters; one's a toddler and the little one is just a few months old. We're making dinner.
Hubs: Can you believe that one day we're going to have to make four of everything? That's going to get expensive.
Me: I know. It's crazy.
Hubs: I'm sure one of them will have an eating disorder, though, so that will help.