Monday, January 30, 2017

Bowling for Enchiladas

My poor baby passed out at a Mexican restaurant, which means I had to eat while cradling her. I may have dropped enchilada on her face. Twice. And then licked it off.

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Tastes Like Chicken

I did one of those Facebook things where you copy and paste a list of questions to your status. This particular list was about my mom. One answer spawned an interesting subthread.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Sweet Titty Relief

A dear friend recently had a breast biopsy (everything turned out fine!) and was lamenting the fact that she had to wear a bra for 72 hours straight. Someone convinced her to buy a nursing bra so it would be easier to fit her ice packs in it.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Put Your Ass into It

A friend of mine bought me a vegetable chopper.

I forwarded the above exchange to the aforementioned Tara, which resulted in this conversation:

The song, in case you're curious.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Echo (echo echo echo)

A lot of things in our house are automated, and voice responsive via our Amazon Echo (who answers to the name Alexa). 

Hubs: Hey, go turn the alarm on.
Me: You know you could ask your bitch to do that.
Hubs: I just did.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Love Language

We're discussing a funny habit Hubs has that is a longstanding joke in his family.

Me: I understand why you do it, but I'm going to continue making fun of you for it.
Hubs: I know. It's okay. I make fun of you for lots of things too and I don't intend to stop.
Me: I know.
Hubs: Speaking of which, have you seen your face today?

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Second Time Around

We've gone out for ice cream at a new place, Hubs orders his standard chocolate, and eats it all. I dip my spoon in the tiny puddle that's left so I can taste it.

Me: I guess the chocolate was good, huh?
Hubs: Oh. Sorry. I didn't give you a bite.
Me: That's okay, I just wanted to taste it.
Hubs: [leans in] Okay, baby bird. Open up.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Another Dimension

We're talking about the phenomenal things that can be done with 3D printing, including the creation of body parts.
My mom: Eventually we'll be able to live forever. We'll just keep printing out replacement parts.
Hubs: Ooh. I'm gonna do that. I'll be here forever.
Me: Oh, god no. You have to die at some point so I can enjoy some time without you.