Saint Patty

Me:  You realize we're eating Mexican food on Saint Patrick's day, right?
Hubs:  What's wrong with that?  What do you think the Mexicans are eating?

Cherry

After dinner, Hubs gets bored with the conversation and starts poking at a Maraschino cherry with his drinking straw.  After numerous unsuccessful attempts to puncture it, Mom turns to me and says, "I'm glad he wasn't your first."

Keep Calm and. . ?

Discovered one morning on my notebook that says, "Keep Calm and Carry On":

A post-it from my dad saying, "Bullshit!  It's time to panic!"

Clementines

Hubs is vivisecting a clementine segment into approximately seven pieces.

Me:  Are you cutting it up that small for the baby?
Hubs:  Yes. . ?
Me:  I've just been cutting them in half.
Hubs:  That's why you're a horrible mother.

March Madness

Me:  You're defrosting two pounds of chicken?
Hubs:  Yes.
Me:  There are only two of you eating.
Hubs:  I'm making chicken tenders, too.
Me:  Again, for two people?
Hubs:  It's the Final F***ing Four.

UK Boots

Watching TV with my dad

Me:  Oh my god.  They make cowboy boots with the Kentucky logo.
Dad:  We'll buy some for the baby.
Me:  Those are hideous.
Dad:  Oh, come on. Where's your school spirit?
Me:  On my sweatshirts.

Tipoff

As we're getting back in the car after a quick grocery run, pre-SEC championship game

Hubs:  Dammit, we're going to miss the tipoff.
Me:  That's okay.  It's just the tip.