My Love Language

Hubs has been to Costco and sends a text. 

[It was a whole serrano ham on a carving rack. Absolutely shoop-worthy.]

Cryin' and Punishment

We're discussing the girls' history of punishments. 

9yo: Did I get put in time out a lot? 

Me: More than your [older] sister. 

9yo: What did she do to get punished? 

Me: Come to think of it, most of the times 12yo was put in timeout, it was because of something she did to you. 

9yo: So she was just mean to me? She didn't like me? 

Me: It wasn't that. I think it's just that she was perfect until you came along and rubbed off on her. 

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Whaaa?

Hubs and I stumble across a bizarre movie from the early 70s. This is the twenty-minute mark. 

Hubs: Wait. 

Me: Did you see that? 

Hubs: Was that a --

Me: [gasps] There it is again! 

Hubs: That's a naked man doing karate. 

Me: This is what happens when Sears and Roebuck tells men to buy kimonos. 

Still Not Touched for the Very First Time

Our high schooler wants to check out a pop-up art show at a local comic book store. It's incredible crowded, so Hubs and little sister head outside while I brave the crowd. 

 

 

 

Caught in the Act

Me: I didn't know you had Twix in here.

Hubs [mumbles through his full mouth]: There's less than there used to be. 

Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat

Hubs: Have you seen all the John Wick movies?

Me: Uh...

Hubs: I know you've seen the first. Maybe the second? 

Me: I was going to say that I'll know when I see them but these movies are all just dark and there's constant shooting. I don't think I could tell the difference. 

Hubs: That's why they're so AMAZING. 

Not Seeing the Light

We're in bed and I'm reeeeally tired. I'm settling in and put my hands over my face for a minute. When I uncover my face again, I gasp with surprise.

Me: Ohmigod. I completely forgot the lights were off.
Hubs: That's it. You are officially the dumbest person I've ever met.