Like a Virgin

14yo has asked to visit a pop-up local art show at a comic book store where all the "artists" were under the drinking age. It is 80% homemade trinkets illegally featuring trademarked Anime/Manga characters (which delighted my daughter). The room is packed. I text Hubs. 

They're All the Dame to Me

Hubs and I have spotted a new movie on Netflix.

Hubs: Hey! It's got that one old lady. 

Me: "That one old lady"? 

Him: Yeah. 

Me: Do you mean Dame Helen Mirren? 

Him: Sure. Oh - and the show with the other one is on our list. We need to watch it. The new Slow Horses.

Me: By "the other one," do you mean Dame Emma Thompson? 

Him: Yeah. 

Me: So this movie has *this* Helen Mirren, but the other show has the *other* Helen Mirren, who is Emma Thompson.

Hubs: Yeah. 

Wild Times with Wildlife

The friend telling the tale is married to a firefighter. At the time of this story, said husband was less than two months out from major surgery (the details of which I will not spoil here).

Like Eleanor Shellstrop, I'm a Legit Snack

We're sitting in a restaurant and I'm sweating, which is weird because I'm usually cold.

Me: We might have to move outside. 

Hubs: Seriously, though. Why are you so hot? 

Me: It's one of the great mysteries of the universe. 

Hold It!

We're road tripping through a remote section of Washington state and I absentmindedly chug half a bottle of Coke. 

Me: Oh no. 

Hubs: How much did you drink? 

Me: Too much. 

Hubs: [sighs] 

Me: Yeah. That's going to come back to bite me in the urethra. 

Memento Mori

Just because we've been friends for thirty years doesn't mean we've learned how to communicate.

Though She Be But Little She Hath Bread

The woman who started this thread is 5'10". In contrast, I am 5'2".