Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat

Hubs: Have you seen all the John Wick movies?

Me: Uh...

Hubs: I know you've seen the first. Maybe the second? 

Me: I was going to say that I'll know when I see them but these movies are all just dark and there's constant shooting. I don't think I could tell the difference. 

Hubs: That's why they're so AMAZING. 

Not Seeing the Light

We're in bed and I'm reeeeally tired. I'm settling in and put my hands over my face for a minute. When I uncover my face again, I gasp with surprise.

Me: Ohmigod. I completely forgot the lights were off.
Hubs: That's it. You are officially the dumbest person I've ever met.

All Aboard

Me: I lost my train of thought but I swear I was going to say something. 

Hubs: I know. That's why I'm walking away.

Man of the House

Hubs and I are bickering when I give up and walk away.

Hubs: Will you please come back here and let me put you in your place? 

Oinking Oenophile

We've recently moved to a state where it's legal to sell wine at gas stations and grocery stores, which is new for us. I crack open a bottle. 

Me: This wine is terrible. I mean, absolutely horrid. 

Hubs: Did you get it at the One Stop?

Me: No! At the PIGGLY WIGGLY. I expected MORE. 

Hindsight

Hubs: That was the first question you asked me. "What's your salary?" 

Me: It was not. 

Also me: Shoulda been. 

Taking Direction

 Hubs got a new car.

Hubs: I was messing around with the car settings and settled on the Australian lady voice for all the navigation. I tried the British woman but she sounded stupid. Obviously I wasn't going to use a man.

Me: You just don't want another man telling you what to do.

Hubs: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DON'T.