We Can All Use a Hand

Pumpkins are the most encouraging of the gourds. Don't expect a boost from a canteloupe, though.

Silence of the Lambs

It is every parent's fundamental right to bore (read: scar) their children with "back in my day" stories. 

Me: When I was in high school, the farm kids told me that if a sheep wouldn't stand still for judging, they could startle it into submission by barely sticking a thumb up its butt.

Daughters: [mortified to the point of vocal paralysis] 

Hubs: How do you think I got you two to stay still for baby photos?

Daughters: [actually die] 

Reply All

This is why group chats exist.

Parenting 101

14yo has ordered a meal that turned out to be kind of gross. 12yo shares her sampling of breakfast foods. 

12yo: Look you guys! I'm being generous in the Christmas spirit! 

Hubs: Thanks for giving your sister food. [pause] Because WE weren't going to. 

Thou Shalt Not Ignore Thy Mother

 My daughters keep me humble.

Caveat Emptor, Part Three

A friend purchased tickets for an event billed as a "rock orchestra."

For more buyer's remorse, click here or here.

Hindsight Really Is 20/20

Yes, these messages are related.