Hardly Healthy

We're at Long John Silver's and Hubs is scooping up forkfuls of the grease-soaked crispies from the bottom of the plate -- of which he'd ordered extra because he loves them.

Me: Please stop. I can hear your arteries hardening.
Hubs: That's not all that's getting hard.

Right on Target

Apparently Target is selling Fuctronics

Bragging Rights

My mom is recounting the time she was stung by a scorpion. Mind you, it was smaller than a honeybee and she was totally fine.

My mom: Well, I did get stung by a scorpion.
Me: Oh my god. That story again. It doesn't even count.
My mom: But I could've died.
My dad: Well at least you wouldn't still be bitching about it.

Am I That Predictable?

I've commented on a friend's Facebook post and may have included one unsavory word.

Tiny Cesspools

I hate it when my kids are sick.

Deez. . . Well, You Know

My mom is always responsible for making the stuffing at Thanksgiving. She texted Hubs to ask for his preferences. She's in white, he's in blue.

Prime Day, Schmime Day

So, this happened on Amazon's disastrous Prime Day last month.